International Diplomacy

“The New York Times Web site was unavailable to readers on Tuesday afternoon following an attack on the company’s domain name registrar, Melbourne IT. The attack also required employees of The Times to stop sending out sensitive e-mails.” – The Next Web


Dear Angela–

I will not be able to communicate with you further at this address. I cannot tell you why. Let us just say it was an edict handed down from above. Please do not read that as weightier than I intend. I am not saying the Fates would have us be silent, just Judy from IT. As my unspoken sometimes checks my other email address under suspicion that I am playing online poker again, please do not email me there. I will contact you from a new address. Please check your spam folder for a message from a certain Sheldon Cooper (wink). Do you think you’ll be at the conference again this year? Do not reply to this email. That question is more of a suggestion. Also you are not Syrian are you?


deer sheldon.

no. I am no سوريا. I love you so to. pleases send money so show me your love. هل تعتقد انه هو شراء هذا؟ we are perfect together. tell me what you newspaper knows about syria yeah, ok? send me pdfs or good. Thank you. صادق




I love the pictures you draw in your letters! I mean the literal ones, but you also “draw” “pictures” with your beautiful words. Do you know you write poetry? I don’t think you do, my apple dumpling, and I think that makes me love you even more. Do you know what love is? It is trust, and I trust you, and trust that if you ask me for money that you need it. Of course I can send money. As always, I’ve deposited it into my PokerFaceOnline account. You need only login with the previous credentials and have it sent to your uncle in Beirut again. Is this for another of his operations? I do hope it goes well. I love how much you love your family. As you are fond of saying, you are a delight and a pomegranate tree in the desert, a scarf in a cloud of mustard purge (poetry again!).

It’s so interesting you should mention my newspaper’s knowledge of Syria! We just received a “top secret” (laughing out loud) batch of documents via “sneaker net” (human courier) that were not to be digitized for fear of online espionage, can you imagine? Anyway they’re all about some pretty sordid stories of our interactions with the Syrians. “Our” meaning the US Government’s, not yours and mine, laughing out loud again. I’ve scanned and attached them here.

Can you send another picture of you in the blue bathing suit?

Heart palpitating wildly (perhaps I should see a doctor? laughing out loud again)

– Sheldon


Its great the money you send for help. I smile big and my hear is blown. Editor, he is jew? Must know this if we can still be continuing. My exposed body which is female and very female and not under the wearing of clothes is away. I send you picture of blue water suit now. في الطريق الي البيت But you must promise me upon the resolution of this editor jew person.

Uncle says why worry? Do not worry instead watch MTV and write more things about things in shoe message.

Go to doctor like you say now. He takes your blood and sends it to me to use. Ok?


View 1 attachment (JPG, 56KB)